The Hidden Risk in Estate Planning
By Cody Terrion
Estate documents can outline what is being given, when, and to whom, but they rarely explain why. Without that context, even well-intentioned plans can feel unfair or confusing. Disagreements often arise from unclear intentions and misunderstood roles, rather than the distribution itself. According to the Institute for Preparing Heirs, 70 percent of wealth transitions fail due to a breakdown in communication and trust. These are not technical failures. They’re human ones.
Avoiding the Conversation Leads to Conflict
Many families avoid talking about money. Parents often worry that discussing inheritance will cause tension. Adult children may hesitate to ask questions, unsure how that curiosity will be received. This mutual discomfort leads to avoidance. As time passes, the topic can become more emotionally charged and harder to approach.
Everyone feels the weight of what isn’t being said. The need for open dialogue is clear, yet the conversation remains unspoken. Without clarity, assumptions begin to take hold. What begins as silence can eventually lead to conflict, often during moments when families are already under stress.
According to Brown Brothers Harriman’s 2023 Private Business Owner Survey, 98 percent of business owners have an estate plan, but 94 percent have not communicated that plan to their family members. Many wait until the plan is finalized before sharing it. Others delay because they feel unprepared to answer questions. But whatever the reason, a lack of communication often creates more stress than the plan itself.
Plans Without Context Feel Confusing
One of the most effective ways to close this gap is by creating a statement of intent. This is a written document that outlines the thinking behind the estate plan. It might describe how the wealth was built, express reflections on values, or clarify specific choices. Its purpose is to provide context so the broader plan feels thoughtful and aligned with the family's story.
When shared in advance, a statement of intent gives family members time to reflect, ask questions, and engage in conversation. What could be a difficult exchange during a period of stress can become a meaningful and constructive discussion instead. Families who open the door to dialogue early often find they have more room to revisit and adjust over time.
What Heirs Really Want
For many families, success in wealth transfer hinges not only on documents, but on shared understanding. When everyone is clear about what is expected and how decisions were made, transitions tend to go more smoothly. At this stage, most people are not looking for technical lessons—they want clarity about their role and the family’s broader goals.
A financial advisor can help guide these conversations, making the process more comfortable and productive. This can be especially valuable when multiple family members are involved or when prior avoidance has made the topic feel sensitive.
Experience also builds confidence. Involving family members in decision-making—whether through philanthropic efforts, investment discussions, or shared planning—turns abstract roles into something familiar. It helps prepare future stewards to act with purpose.
Start the Conversation Before You’re Forced To
These conversations do not need to happen all at once. They can begin gradually, evolve over time, and deepen as trust builds. What matters most is beginning with honesty and a commitment to transparency. When families understand the purpose behind a plan, they are far better equipped to carry it forward.
If you’ve been meaning to start this conversation, we can help. Whether it involves facilitating a family meeting, helping craft a statement of intent, or supporting you through the first step, our goal is to bring clarity to complexity.
